In January 2023, I resigned as the pastor of First Baptist Freeport (FL) (Now Pathway Church). The Sunday after I preached my last sermon in the pulpit of Freeport’s most historic church, I began holding Sunday services outdoors in the city park just up the street.
I can appreciate that my resignation and subsequent church planting activity has raised an eyebrow or two. Why would I walk away from First Baptist Freeport and give up my salary, housing, and insurance stipend (with my wife battling cancer, no less), not to mention, forfeit a centrally located church property with a paid-for building only to start over, from scratch, within walking distance from all of that?
I believe my response, here, is necessary, given that no small cloud of suspicion has been stirred up regarding my character, my ministry, and my motives. I hope to clear the air on why I left First Baptist but didn’t leave Freeport.
The Back Story—Defamation Dogpile
As crazy as it sounds, just two weeks after I began my ministry as the pastor of First Baptist Freeport, I was bizarrely defamed in the national press. A side project I’ve been working on (helping godly singles get married) suddenly went viral, causing a major feminist meltdown on Twitter.
What unfolded was an extravagant display of mockery, libel & slander. Relevant Magazine & Podcast maliciously smeared me as a sexist and alt-right extremist, while the NY Post published a false and libelous accusation that I used ‘black face’ in a promotional video. From there, it was a defamation dogpile.
It wasn’t long before a group of the most prominent people in Freeport rummaged through the garbage heap, digging up as much dirt as possible, in an effort to destroy my reputation and run me out of town. The reason these people sought to destroy me is because I dared to articulate a biblical sexual ethic from the pulpit, and online, which directly opposed the feminist and homosexual agenda that they low key practice and promote in Freeport.
In order to discredit me, they launched a smear campaign, full of lies and slander, which continues to this day. I’ve been falsely accused of so many things, it’s hard to keep up. Some of these wicked people even spread a rumor that I trafficked children, and that I trafficked my wife from Brazil. Their smear campaign decimated my ministry at First Baptist; driving away members and guests, alike. I’ve addressed all of that here and here.
I hasten to add that this pile on happened in broad daylight, all over town, and all over social media, yet local pastors and leaders looked the other way, saying nothing. I was essentially saddled with a scarlet letter and blacklisted in the community.
The barber shop stopped taking my calls. I was kicked off the middle school track and told expressly that I could no longer walk there, not even during non-school hours. My wife lost friend after friend, and usually without a word of explanation. She was treated like an outcast. I was excluded from pastor-led civic prayer events (three years and counting).
There were online threats to “cause trouble.” My cell number and church email were published by smut social media influencers, with calls to harass me. A friend loaned me a pistol for safety. The church Google Maps page was trashed with bad reviews. The church office was bombarded with angry calls and emails. The secretary resigned. It was a circus.
*As an update: To give you an idea of how bad this smear campaign was—after I resigned, this 150 year old church changed their name because that much mud just won’t wash off.
During all of this, Amanda grew terribly sick and was diagnosed with cancer. She underwent two major surgeries to remove her uterus, fibroids, endometriosis, appendix, gallbladder, right colon, a (re)section of her small intestines, and two malignant tumors.
To say this was a hard season would be an understatement. Yet, none of this is why we left First Baptist, and all of this is why we stayed in Freeport.
Why I left First Baptist
Amanda and I had every intention of planting ourselves at First Baptist for the long haul. I tried, in earnest, to discharge my duties as pastor, but I faced unrelenting opposition, from within, from the beginning, for the duration of my 1 ½ year tenure. The more I tried to bring order to a disordered church the more I, personally, was deemed, “out of order.”
To give you an idea of the kind of internal opposition I faced—a paid staff member (and long-time church member) was permitted to protest and sabotage my ministry nonstop, without repercussion, for the duration of my 1 1/2 years at First Baptist. Nearly a dozen eye-witnesses testified to this ongoing pattern of protest. Six first time guests informed me that this staff member was bad-mouthing me right in front of them the moment they walked through the doors of the church. We’ll never know how many guests she ran off. Time and again, word came back to me that this paid staff was trashing me behind my back. She ran me down so extensively in a Women’s meeting (WMU), that an entire paragraph of slander, guised as “concern” (about me), was recorded in the official meeting minutes. As a perpetual protest against me, this paid staff member maintained a dour, gloomy demenaor during weekly church gatherings, casting a dark, oppressive cloud over First Baptist Freeport. She was clearly willing to sink the whole ship in order to take me down. Rather than fire her, or hold her accountable, the head deacons, instead, promoted her—to Diretor of Vacation Bible School.
One deacon’s wife would not even look at my wife, except to scowl. Another deacon’s wife nicknamed my wife “Miss Priss” (short for prissy.) That’s a name you might give to a little girl, but not to the pastor’s wife, and, especially not when she’s battling cancer. On top of all this, a group of church ladies ran all over town gossiping about me. If only they had the same zeal in their evangelism.
Regrettably, the deacons were too busy trying to discipline me (and my wife) to bother with all of that. Amanda and I faced constant scrutiny. We may have lived in the parsonage, but we stayed in the doghouse:
Once, when I used the word “manly,” unironically, as a positive characteristic for godly pastors, the church sound tech got mad and left the church. For that, I was called into the deacon’s office and censored.
When I ran a Facebook ad to gauge interest for a Christian Academy, the town gossips had a hissy fit. Again, I was called into the deacon’s office and lectured.
When I told Sunday guests we didn’t expect them to give financially, I was upbraided in a deacon’s meeting.
When I took my wife to the beach on a day off, someone reported us. Again, I was called into the office and reprimanded: “If Amanda feels good enough to go to the beach, then she has no excuse not to attend prayer meeting.”
(Bear in mind, this was 3 months after Amanda underwent two major surgeries, back to back. She was fighting cancer and crippling rheumatoid arthritis, and that without the medicine she needed, due to finances. She suffered from extreme fatigue and, by early evening time, she simply did not have the energy to show up to a meeting, which most of the deacons, themselves, did not attend.)
The straw that broke the camel’s back, was when one deacon’s wife reported Amanda for a social media post, prompting the deacons to manufacture a bogus charge. They bizarrely accused Amanda of being “sexually suggestive, and provocative” (their words). The content, in question, was a short, innocent video clip of Amanda pointing at Bible verses! (See for yourself.) There was absolutely nothing inappropriate about Amanda’s dress or behavior, or anything. Nonetheless, in order to placate disgruntled women, the deacons humiliated and shamed my wife; ordering her to remove the post.
For context; some Freeport women were upset that, from time to time, I addressed the need for women to dress with modesty and decency, and to respect their husbands. Their below-the-belt swipe at my wife was done deliberately, to put me in my place. It typifies the kind of underhanded conduct I regularly dealt with from disgruntled members.
Over and over again, I was called into the deacons’ office to be corrected, chided, and censored over petty and contrived concerns in order to mollify meddlesome church marms, while at the same time, watching the deacons steadfastly refuse to address real and recurrent sin rotting the church from within. This was the pattern for 1 ½ years. As I heard someone say recently, “A church will either discipline sin, or it will discipline righteousness.”
I left First Baptist, because I saw, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that an entrenched group of members (and leaders) simply did not want me there as their pastor. If I had remained at First Baptist, major conflict would have ensued, which likely would have led to a church split, not to mention a handful of heart attacks. I could have thrown my weight around to win the turf battle, but I would have lost the mission. I’d rather see my detractors’ grandchildren come to faith in Christ than to be ‘king of the hill.’ When I weighed the outcomes, leaving quietly, and bearing the burden of starting over from scratch, seemed like the loving thing to do. If I’m ever going to win against Freeport’s dirty politics, it will have to happen through a ‘left-handed’ disadvantage—leaving no doubt that victory has come through God’s mighty right hand.
As 2022 came to a close, Amanda was once again in the midst of a full-blown health crisis. Just before Christmas (2022), we thought Amanda was having a heart attack. We went by ambulance to the ER, and all the evidence pointed to a major carcinoid crisis, which, to our dismay, indicated the recurrence of cancer. Stress is a major trigger for carcinoid syndrome. For the sake of Amanda’s health, it was time to step away and seek healing.
After my resignation, I submitted a case of misconduct to the deacon board, both in a meeting, and again, in writing. I have patiently followed due process. I have sought to give the leadership every opportunity to make things right. Despite overwhelming evidence of serious and ongoing misconduct, no course of action was proposed to make amends or even acknowledge wrongdoing. May the Lord judge between us.
Amanda and I choose to forgive these members (and leaders), and we hope and pray for their repentance. For anyone with genuine concerns about my character or my convictions, I am available to talk.
Why I Didn’t Leave Freeport
Someone once quipped, “The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.” When Amanda and I packed up our lives (in Texas) and moved across four state lines, we had no idea the harsh winter we’d face in sunny Freeport, Florida. We’ve weathered a cancer diagnosis, cancer recurrence, more than a dozen ER visits, 2 major surgeries, defamation by national press, local smear campaigns, and non-stop opposition from the people we had hoped would be our church family. If it weren’t for the kindness of a Christian family who learned of our situation, we’d be homeless this past year. In all of this, God has been faithful.
From a medical standpoint, it would be untenable to leave right now. It has taken us two years to establish Amanda’s doctor care. We finally have a great primary doctor and have learned to navigate the regional medical system. Uprooting would greatly disrupt Amanda’s treatment for cancer and severe rheumatoid arthritis.
From a professional standpoint, as a pastor, I’m virtually unemployable now. Two years of defamation, libel, and slander on the internet have attached themselves to my name like a kind of criminal record that would follow me wherever I might go. (Seriously, Google “Pastor Br*ndon Durh*m”…see what you can learn in five minutes.)
Some of my detractors have essentially taken a blood-oath to destroy me (See Acts 23:12). There’s nowhere I could go where they wouldn’t track me down and seek to have me blacklisted. (See Acts 17:13)
As I heard someone say, “If you can’t get a seat at the table, then build your own table.” That’s what we’ve decided to do; build a scorn-proof church that can weather the harsh winter coming for faithful Christians everywhere. Make no mistake, what the lying britches brigade did to me, they will do to anyone (in Freeport or any other town) who takes a stand for Christ in this generation.
Amanda and I choose to stay and proclaim the gospel in this area for as long as God keeps us here, because we trust that God has many people here who belong to Him (Acts 18:10), and we want to see God grow a healthy, Biblical church that will be a scorn-proof blessing to this area for generations to come. We’d love for our yet unborn great, great, great grandchildren to build their lives around here, all to the glory of God.
I would say we ‘burned the ships’…but we didn’t have to. Our enemies burned them for us. And we’re here to love them.