This article was written March 11, 2020
Recently, while eating pancakes at IHOP, I noticed, at an adjacent table, a young man frowning intently at me. I was not offended, as I quickly realized he had a mental disability. In fact, he reminded me a lot of my cousin (Jason), whom I love dearly.
Imagine my delightful surprise, when, after finishing his breakfast, this young man sauntered over to my table and extended his hand to shake mine! His poor mother rushed over, apologetically, to intercept him. But she was too late! I eagerly put my fork down and grabbed his hand, thrilled that he’d take a moment to spread some unabashed kindness my way! And then something revealing happened. His mother gently placed her hand on top of ours, and she patiently instructed him, “Ok, let’s count to three…one…two…three…and…LET GO!”
Amazing! I was not expecting, there inside ordinary IHOP, to encounter such a rare & glorious creature, so entirely uninhibited by social norms, self-absorption, or pretense that he actually had to be retrained, and taught by his mother, to “rein it in” with his friendliness!
I later pondered, how often do professing Christians have the exact opposite problem? Too often, we can’t be bothered for 3 seconds to look up and smile, shake a hand, give a hug, or offer an encouraging word. As sinners, (which we all are) we are tragically impaired in our capacity to show kindness, and most often our impairment lies not in our head, but in our heart.
The dictionary defines “kindness” as “the act of being caring or warm in spirit.” Kindness begins in the heart as a generous attitude towards others, and inevitably spills through our hands in benevolent acts.
As Christians, we can’t excuse ourselves from being kind, for the Bible (Galatians 5:23) expressly says kindness is a fruit of God’s Spirit which inevitably blossoms in the life of every Spirit-led, obedient Christian, regardless of temperament. When Christ’s church is infected with unkindness it unravels unity and drives people, who need God, yet further away from God! In 2 Corinthians 6:12-13, the Apostle Paul addressed the Church of Corinth over such coldness: “We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange — I speak as to my children — open wide your hearts also.” As a spiritual father, Paul gently placed his hand over the Corinthians’ lives and instructed them to “open wide” their hearts; to let love and kindness flow!
Imagine a church distinguished by the remarkable peculiarity of kindness! Imagine the impact on our surrounding communities IF ordinary churches produced those rare & glorious creatures who saunter over to greet their neighbors with a smile, embrace others with eager arms, and never “let go” before counting to 3!
In a very real sense, Western Civilization owes its very existence to the kindness of Christianity! As someone said, “We are dwarfs standing on the shoulders of giants.” Apart from Paul, of mortal man, it is St. Augustine who stands head and shoulders above so many intellectual giants! He gave the West our first autobiography (Confessions) along with a massive library of more than 5 million words! Yet, up until age 32, Augustine was a wayward, restless soul, squandering his life! Disgusted by religion, Augustine turned to mistress after mistress, dove headlong into philosophy, poured himself into the ambition of oratory, and eventually joined a cult. It was Christian kindness that first led him home to Christ!
Everything changed for Augustine, and for us, when he showed up to hear the renowned preacher, Ambrose! In Augustine’s own words, “My heart warmed to him, not at first, as a teacher of the truth,…, but simply as a man who showed me kindness.” Amazing! It was the kindness of a Christian (Ambrose) that opened the door for Augustine to eventually embrace the kindness of God found in the gospel! Because of that kindness, for the past 17 centuries, we have framed our worldview, filled our museums, and formed our civilization around Augustine’s prolific life & words! As one pastor-theologian, Nick Needham, writes, “If Western Christians are to understand their own heritage, they cannot escape engaging with the titanic figure of Augustine.” And might we add, if we are to continue in this heritage, we cannot escape engaging with the titanic power of kindness!
The remedy to our lack of kindness is to (re) experience the abundance of God’s. As Romans 2:4 says, “God’s kindness leads us toward repentance.” In the Gospel, God interrupts our breakfast! We look up to find Him frowning intently at us, and with good reason—our sin offends him greatly! As Romans 1:18 reads, “The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness…” And yet, in the most delightfully surprising act in all of human history, this very same God makes the decisive move to our table, extending his hand with the offer of salvation—“believe on the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved.” (Acts 16:31) In the kindness of God, through the cross of Christ, a way has been made for sinful man to be forgiven and reconciled to our Maker! As Augustine said, “Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee.”
For some, it may be time to put down our fork, and receive, by faith, the warm embrace of God’s “Welcome Home!” For the Church, as we take serious the task of representing God’s kindness to our community, perhaps we need the Heavenly Father to gently place his hand on top of ours, and remind us: “Ok, let’s count to three…one…two…three…and…let go!”